Three Sincere Write-Ups and One Not so Pleasant.
Games 1,2, and 4 written by Bud, game 3 written by Sarah
Fist of the Kickball 10 - Ball Deep 9
The game started with the Lindsay Baker juggernaut rolling on, also with Lindsay Baker in a skin tight costume, but I am trying hard to wipe that from my memory. Ball Deep won the taunt, lost the coin toss and then proceeded to put up eight points on the Fist in the first inning. Fist of the Kickball scored a goose egg in the bottom of the first and it looked to be another laugh against this year’s hard luck team. As the game dragged on, the Fist managed to put up a point here and there, but oddly enough their defense tightened up and held Ball Deep to only one more run leading into the final inning. As a matter of fact, Fist was only down by one point, 9-8, and had the last at bat. After some conferring by head ump and scoreboard keepers, we concluded that this miraculously was the case, and that there actually was a kickball classic in the making. Ball Deep took to the field with a hint of fear in their eyes over the realization that there mighty win streak was about to bite the big one. I have to admit the next series of events was so utterly spectacular, that I did not commit them to memory, it was just too amazing for my poor brain to record. Maybe Sarah can add to it if she wasn’t also blinded by the dazzling display put on by the Fist to win the game. Fist captain Jeff was so elated he offered to buy the game ball from the league in celebration, Sarah sold it, but then we had to rent it back for the next game.
Old People 18 - Keytarded 17
Who is more senile? Old People or hipster Keytar players? It was a tough call after Keytarded captain Andy did a brilliant, but misplaced, power point taunt against their opponent’s team name from last year, the Dead Yuppies. Nothing was misguided though about Keytarded putting up ten runs in the very first inning, led by the powerful play of former Dead Yuppie, now Keytarded defector, Mohawk Matt. It looks like Andy’s confusing taunt had just that effect on the normally stingy Old People defense, as they gave up a then season high seventeen points. I mean even Sarah was getting on base, what the hell! Unfortunately though, Keytarded’s defense wasn’t doing much better, and the scoreboard operator got quite the workout that night tallying all the runs. It was Keytarded 17, Old People 16 heading into the bottom of the fifth. Two elderly persons limped onto base, and someone came up to bat in what I think was his first game of the season. The pitch was rolled and the die was cast, the mighty Old Person stepped up to his place in kickball destiny and ripped the ball to deep left field. He caught the incredibly talented Keytarded outfield standing flat footed, and easily scored the two runs to win the game. Keytarded was stunned, unfortunately not stunned silent, but stunned. It was a hell of a comeback to witness.
Written from the Point of View of Dani and Jay, the “Fasting Couple” of Atari
Atari 18 - Old People 4
Hello game. I have shit 5 times already today. It didn’t look right, but it may be so right that I can’t discern the healthful quality as my entire life has been a process of throwing trash into my system and watching what it looks like after thrashing through my bloodstream. I’m watching you from the sidelines of home base as the tiny wind storms of the week swirl around high-pulled Bermuda shorts and 80s game logos. I have been fasting for 2 weeks, cleaning out my organs, which abuse has tied to its wonderful world in the form of cheetos, beer, and cigarettes. My skin is limp to the touch and my lips are numb. I have found a new place with which to spread my identity into, a cup for my body to pool in and rest: I am a healthy person. I kick the ball and run toward first base, clenching my buttocks so I don’t leak out the vegetable juice which no only takes 15.4 minutes to run through my intestines. I am on base. I can play kickball and fast. I can beat your team by 14 points with shit dribbling down my leg. And I just did.
Pirates 11 - Jackass 7
Honestly, I don’t remember much of this game. I was too busy celebrating our win, the wedding couple, and just having to much fun to have seen much of the game. I remember the groom, Brian from the Pirates, running around with PBR cans tied ropes around his waist. We all figured he was going to break his neck since he has shown a high propensity for face planting in right field. Jackass played with their usual fifth of whisky style, but just didn’t seem to have the heart to beat the newlyweds. All the teams, plus more had a wonderful time at the Dock after the games. We were celebrating the newlyweds, our victories, defeats, camaraderie, and just Kickball in general.