WNDRFL
Steve, Captain
From the jungles of
Ecuador! From the mountains of
Peru! From the cities of
Mexico (pronounce May-hee-co)! From the coasts of
Cuba! And from all over small villages in
Guatemala,
Bolivia,
Argentina,
El Salvador and parts of
West Seattle (along the
White Center border)…comes the WORLD NATIONAL DRUNKEN REBULIC FEDERATION OF LUCHADORES!!!!
That’s WNDRFL for short!
We’re badass. We’re multi-cultural. We got skills. And we’ll crush your asses like the LEETLE COCKAROACHES YOU ARE!
Graduates of the Private School Punks, we hung up our ties and put away our Repo Man soundtracks! We out grew Team Atari and discovered X-Box…but then outgrew that too.
General Manager Bud Lee gave captain Steve Barron a blank checkbook and a map of Central and
South America with the only instructions – bring me back a winning team! It took some time and Captain Barron met some strangely interesting people. There were the Peruvian folk dancers that perform the unique danza de las Tijeras or Scissor Dance in the
Andes - www.perutravels.net/peru-travel-guide/art-music-scissors-dance.htm But after half an inning, all the kickballs was flat. There were the Bolivian female wrestlers, the Cholitas and the Senoras…but after a half an hour of trying to convince them that kickball was a real sport, they threatened to shave his head and paint it red and use that for a kickball….
So with $325.49 left in his scouting budget, Capn’ Barron went to the Comet and drank himself into a stupid and decided to sign up the ex PSP/Atarists… It’s honestly the best use of Bud’s money in a long time!
Get yer arses ready for the WORLD NATIONAL DRUNKEN REBULIC FEDERATION OF LUCHADORES!!!! We’re coming for you!!!!
BALL DEEP
Lindsey, Captain
Hello other teams, I’m Ball Deep! What’s your name and your number? Check it out, we have these two tickets to this fantastic show and we would like to get to know you. We’ve got a pocket full of money so let’s get together and do the wild thing in our waterbeds. So would you meet me at the waterbed later on? Say about, 11 o’clock, and we can do it all night long?
(Rap)
We can’t hold it back, the paints flowin over.
We can’t hold it back , we are the future.
Touch it why don’tcha, touch it why don’tcha.
Touch it why don’tcha, touch it why DON’TCHA!
Other teams : (Are you talkin to us?)
Ball Deep : Yes, please meet us at our waterbeds tonight?
Other Teams : (OK, 10:30 sharp!)
(Rap)
We’re Ball Deep and we’re here to say.
Bout what’s goin on in the USA.
How the President’s givin all kinds of advices.
But that don’t stop the raisin in the prices.
Candidates cuts each other’s throats.
Just to get poor people out there to vote.
But if you look in the sky, at the stars above.
You read we’re Ball Deep and we’re made for love.
Some people go through kickball, with no style of their own. Being someone else instead, instead of who they are. Just like, she’s like her, and he’s like him, oh what a shame. Cause when you see one team, you see the same, they be sellin to mutual gain.
We’re back on top, the teams are waiting.
Sometimes we go roller skating.
They hurry up and come.
Cause they can’t wait, to get it on.
In our waterbeds.
(Chorus)
What did Ball Deep say (BALL!)
Now screammmm (DEEP!)
How that sound (GRREAT!)
If you are Deep…repeat Deep .
What did Ball Deep say (BALL!)
Now screammmm (DEEP!)
How that sound (GRREAT!)
Watashi-wa, Tokyo ski.
(Rap)
You see our skill and occupation is kicking it right.
The reason that we do it is cuz that’s what we like.
We’re got the capabilities to do other things.
Like being movie stars or sportin diamond rings.
Being players, hustlers, or executives.
With a forty-room mansion cuz that’s how we live.
Eat the finest food, drink exclusive wine.
Searching for teams to be mine all mine.
Not lookin for a team that’s only sexy.
Listen up, I tell ya how ya have to be.
Just honest, intelligent with sex appeal.
Not lyin other teams cause that’s the real deal.
If you fit that description, you can’t resist.
After the game is over, just sign up on our list.
Cuz at our door, we wanna see the teams, galore.
Yes, it’s deeping other teams that we do adore.
You know we can feel you comin.
Yes, our waterbed is runnin.
All that we say, that it’s time for you to lay…
In our waterbeds.
(Ball Deep touch themselves, to prove that they are freaks)
Ball Deep : Since we took this time out, to tell you and yours that we are Ball Deep and we get the stuff all night long we just wanted to ask the teams, how ya like us now?
Other Teams :(We love you Ball Deep!)
Ball Deep : Goodbye, other teams!
Other Teams : (Goodbye Ball Deep)
Ball Deep : It was nice, gettin to know you .
Other Teams : (The pleasure was all ours)
Ball Deep : We’ll be back, shortly.
Other Teams : (Is that a promise?)
Ball Deep: To rock your waterbeds.
The Happy Birthday’s
JT, Captain
DARKSIDE
Heidi, Captain
Lord knows I love a jell-o shot. Therefore, my bias towards this team is profound. Adulation I will dole, affirmation I will dispense. Not because I think having a Star Trek team is novel, but because I am a glutton. GLUTT-ON. So when they show up with cookies and jell-o shots in the little bitty perfectly constructed plastic shot cups that they included in a cooler to keep them cold and delicious, I will award them points. Tip to teams: BEAT THEM IN THE BEGINNING WITH BAKED GOODS AND WE ALL WIN. This Star Trek team should really just call themselves the Moms, or the Bakers, or the Diet-Killers. And before any dungeon masters email me about the Darkside referencing Star Wars and not Star Trek, you are WRONG.
Tha Tang
Jeff, captain
Jackass
Patrick Captain
Our team name speaks our game. We are a plethora of pimps and hos, founded by peeps from coast to coast to no coast to great lakes coast (but none of us like the florida coast). Our team shaman has diagnosed us with an incurable feebleness which we must monitor while on the field at all times. Our elixirs are both natural and of the earth; Cypress Hill herbs, and whiskey. If at any time an opposing team hears the death cries of “We need a medic!”, it’s best they step back and allow our shaman to quickly dose us. At times our team has been known to overdose, which can send us into an unstoppable diatribe. Haranguing, which is all in good fun, is Team Jackass’ middle name, and none of us ever forgets how good we are.
“Death is the Mother of Beauty”
Varsity
James, Captain
Space Tractor
Andy, Captain
What is Space Tractor?
Born from the ashes of Keytarded and Hell Toupee, Space Tractor is both obnoxious and whimsical, backwoods and futuristic. After finishing the season as King Losers as Hell Toupee, Keytarded went on to take three-time world champs Danger Moustache out of contention during the first game of the 2006 playoffs. This year? The keytar and megaphone remain, but ex-Commish Sarah does not.
What is a Space Tractor? This spacecraft, proposed by scientists at NASA, would be launched into space to nudge planet-threatening asteroids off course.
Space Tractor [allbusiness.com]
a small space tractor that would snuggle up to a planet-threatening astroid [China View]
It’s also worth noting that Leningrad Cowboys have a song called Space Tractor. Strangely, the Leningrad Cowboys are not from Russia, but from Finland, not unlike another Nordic band with a misdirecting name: I’m From Barcelona (who are from Sweden). Is “Space Tractor” by the Leningrad Cowboys the Space Tractor theme song? No. No, it is not.
AveRats
Justin, Captain
The Pirates
Danielle, Captain