- No hitting people in the head, like hard.
- No “methamphetamine” pitching. The pitcher’s job is to roll the ball over the plate, breezy like a unicorn.
- At the plate, four foul balls and you’re out.There are no “balls” and “strikes”.
- No stealing and no lead-offs. You can tag up after a ball is caught in fair territory. If the ball is caught in foul territory, you cannot advance.
- Respect the No-Go Zone. Catchers need to touch the backstop until the kicker makes contact.
- No sincere crying, unless you’re passing a kidney stone.
- The Umpires are the Alphas and the Omegas, dude or dudette.
- FACE KONTROL! your team needs a uniform, and every member should wear it. “Uniform” can be interpreted how you like, but it should be visible. Matching thongs are nice, but we need to see them.
- Batting list + field list = a game where another team won’t bitch at you for only playing your 2 meatiest biggest dudes. ROTATE all your players or die.
- 6 members of your team need to show up to play, otherwise you forfeit a game. Even that is not really enough, spiritually. At least three members of each sex must be playing when your team is in the field.
- The team with the best taunt wins home field advantage.
- If a team does not have a skit, or obviously just cobbled something together to avoid a penalty, then the opposing team will get an extra out in the 2nd and 4th inning of the game. (Is this harsh? Yes, but it is easily avoided by just having some kind of skit. If you are more worried about competitive play than creativity and fun, you are in the wrong league anyways!)
- It’s a Co-ed league! Most of the guys are there to meet girls anyways, but yet they don’t bring any to play on their teams! This summer a team must begin the game with at least three women on the field, or a combination of women and men dressed in drag! By drag we mean dresses and wigs, or sassy and sexy! If you do not have anything, the league will be providing muumuu’s, wigs and weighted bras for some lucky fellows. I can barely wait!
This entry was posted
on Tuesday, May 27th, 2008 at 8:43 pm and is filed under Rules.
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