There once was a place called Awesometown!!1!
But Darkside wanted to put condos down.
So the town got taped,
And prepared to be raped,
By the Darkside, you see, ’cause we want the crown.
But fun was afoot so do not frown,
We love the good people of Awesometown!!1!
So we kicked a grand slam,
And away the gnome ran,
As we watched “the band” go round and round.
-Heidi from the Darkside!
(Sung enthusiastically to the tune of NKOTB’s Step by Step, circa 1990)
Kick by Kick! We’re Tha Tang, y’all Like the New Kids, your hits will die.
Kick by Kick! Watch out Git Sum! You’ll be creamed like Sum Young Guy.
Kick 1! (echo, echo) We will git a homerun!
Kick 2! (echo, echo) We will turn your balls blue.
Kick 3! (echo, echo) You’ll be so scared you’ll just pee.
Kick 4! (echo, echo) We know yo’ mommas are whores.
Kick 5! (echo, echo) Don’tcha know you’ll leave here crying tonight (echo, echo, sink to ground)
(A Pink Floyd inspired medley)
(The Wall) You need kickball education. You need to learn ball control. No Darkside homerun in this ball game. Wrap your lips around my Tangy baaaallllllsss!!!
Hey! Darkside! Why don’t you just go home?
(Money) Tha Tang! So we say. The Orange Tang Gang Bang is on the way!
(Comfortably Numb) There’ll be no balls you are receiving. Our balls will set on the horizon. You shout and no one seems to hear, because our balls are resting on your ear.
WHHHHYYYYY don’t you kiss the darkside of our… (drop drawers) moon (implied).